User blog:Crescent moon/Volturi watching New Moon!


 * The volturi sit in a dark room with their guard*

Jane *curious* : What's it called again ?

Alec *sarcastic* : New Moon.

Aro *happily* : I decided that we all watch this together like a family!

Caius *annoyed* : I told you before I'm not watching anymore of your Christmas specials on DVDs.

Alec *sarcastic* : It's a film.

Caius *curious* : Straight to the video?

Alec *sarcastic* : Yes.

Caius *annoyed* : I'm not watching it!

Alec *being careful about what he's gonna say* : It's good...It's good...ish. And we're all in it!

Aro: We're in the film and I haven't been paid yet! How the heck did this happen!!!

Marcus *sarcatic and looks dead* : ....

Jane *sarcastic* : You know,I don't remember being filmed for this not in a thousand years..

Felix *sarcastic* : It's computer animation set 30 years into the futre.

Caius *annoyed* : Just put it on, and not because I'm vain.*flicks hair*


 * Alec presses play*

(Scene shows the title "New Moon")


 * Felix steals the remote*

Felix: *paused the movie* Okay we're skipping this part.

Aro *curious* : Why?

Felix: It's not suitable-

Aro *complaining* : Not Jurassic park all over again. I'm 40 Felix. I can watch a PG movie.

Felix: It's not you sir, it's Jane.

Jane: What!?!

Alec *teasingly* : It's because your a girl "Janey".

Jane: That's it! *takes the remote and throws it at Alec*

Alec: OW!

Caius: Right,I'm having the remote! Felix, am I in this part?

Felix: No sir.

Caius: Then we're skipping it.


 * Caius presses skip*

(Scene shows Edward explaining the Volturi in Carlisle's study)

Felix: You're in this part sir.

Caius: Of course I am. I alwalys get my own scenes.

Aro: I think we look more superior if we wear gold clothes.

Marcus: ...

(scene shows Edward leaving Bella in the forest)

Caius: Ew! Edward's being emo! Skip!


 * Caius presses skip*

(scene shows Bella going to Jacob's house, Jacob is half naked)

Jane *dazzled* : He's so HOT!!!

Alec: Whoa! Jane this is the first time I ever seen you getting a crush!

Aro: I wonder if he gained those muscles by going to gym or undergoing surgery?

Marcus: ....

Caius: Skip!


 * Caius presses skip*

(Scene shows Laurent being attacked by the werewolves)

Caius *angry* : WEREWOLVES!!! KILL THEM!!!

Aro *trying to calm Caius down* : Dearest Caius you can't kill them because it's just a movie.

Caius *Still angry* : Grr...

Felix *suggested* : And you might ruin our movie night just by smashing the cd.

Jane and Alec *laughing* : Hahahaha!


 * Felix steals remote and presses skip*

(Scene shows Bella kissing Edward in Volterra)

Felix *jealous* : Grr... I wished she'd kiss me instead of Edward!

Alec: None of that part! For me and Jane are underage.


 * Alec steals remote and presses skip*

(Scene shows Jane in a black cloak)

Alec *teasing Jane* : Jane is it halloween already? cause you dress like a grim reaper!

Jane *teasing Alec* : And what do you dress like ? A Prince Charming?

Aro: Hahaha! Children.

(Scene Aro standing and Marcus and Caius sitting on their thrones)

Felix: Master if only you didn't let them go and killed Edward may I have Bella as a reward for being a good guard?

Caius *thinking* : ...Hmm no cause I was supposed to feast on her blood it's tempting me....

Felix: ......

Aro *points at the movie* : Look at me I have beautiful long hair cause I always use 20 bottles of conditioner everyday!

Caius *points at the movie* : Sorry Aro but I have a more Beautiful hair than you cause I always use 15 bottles of shampoo with 15 different scents!

Aro: THAT's IT AFTER THIS MOVIE I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BEAUTY CONTEST!


 * Felix presses skip*

(Scene shows Bella waking up from her bed)

Jane: Wait! Let's go back a bit! *steals remote and hits rewind*.


 * scene shows Edward is being crushed to the floor by Felix*

Jane: And now, play. Isn't it wonderful to see that Edward is no match for Felix.

Alec: I think I've found a new screensaver.

Felix: My favorite part of the movie! Yeah I pwned Edward!

(Scene shows Caius saying Bella can be vulnerablity)

Felix: I should have more fans than him{Edward} cause I deafeated him!

Caius: All of you shut up! The films runing and I'm the one who's talking in this part.

Jane: Master! Since me,Alec,Felix and Demetri helped in beating Edward and holding Alice ,do we get a promotion?

Aro: Good point. Corin and Afton are getting a lower rank for being useless when we needed them.


 * Felix steals remote and presses skip *

(Scene shows Edward asking Bella to marry him)

Felix *jealous* : I wished I was the one who asked her that question!

Jane and Alec *laughing* : Jealous Felix? hahahahaha!

Felix *ignores Alec and Jane* : ....

(Scene shows credits)

Aro: What do we do now? I know Caius i challenge you to a beauty contest!


 * Suddenly Demetri enters the room*

Demetri: Master?

Aro: Yes?

Demeti: There has..... There has been a tragic accident!

Everyone,except for Marcus: *gasp*

Aro: What now?

Demetri: Y... You know you sent all of our 34 black cloaks to the washer?

Aro: ....Yes

Demetri: Well there was a mishap. A catastrophic mishap....

Aro: What exactly are you trying to say?

Demetri: .... A yellow scarf infiltrated the washer{meaning their black cloacks has yellow spots}. There was nothing we could do.

Aro: ...

Demetri *worried* : Master? Master are you alright?

Aro: How many.... dyed?

Demetri: It was a massacre, master. None survived.{meaning all their black cloacks has yellow spots}

THE END