User blog:Cullen's are HOT!!!/Esme's Diary Entry (Flames)

= Esme’s Diary (Flames) ''' ''' =  October 17, 2011 

 

 Dear Diary, 

 People always say that two wrongs don’t make a right, but on this occasion I think I would have to disagree. 

 Charles definitely deserved a taste of his own medicine; he deserved to know what it felt like to be humiliated. What he had made me endure for the last three years was nothing short of repulsive. I had always known, in my heart, that Charles wouldn’t allow us to get away with humiliating him like that so easily. We will still have to leave – leave everyone that we know and love in order to save this life growing inside me. 

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> ''<span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">How am I going to tell Johnathon? ''<span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> I wondered to myself as I sat downstairs watching the sun rise. The nerves of telling him – and the constant urge to use the bathroom – causing my insomnia. What if he thought I was trapping him in to staying with me? What if he didn’t want children yet? <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">STOP IT <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">, I told myself angrily. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon was nothing like Charles, he would be happy, no thrilled, about our little surprise. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Before I could change my mind I marched back upstairs with a fresh cup of tea in my hands for Johnathon. I would tell him now, no backing out. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Johnathon? Wake up my love.” I placed the cup on the bedside table as I sat down on the edge of the bed. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Mmmm?” he mumbled, still asleep, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into a tight embrace. “Come back to bed,” he grumbled, his eyes still firmly shut. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“No darling, I have to talk to you.” As I said the words I knew I could no longer back out of telling him. My jitters intensified. The feeling of nausea took over my body. I scrambled out of Johnathon’s embrace and rushed to the toilet, reaching it just in time. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Damn Damn Damn,” I muttered to myself as I blotted my mouth with a washcloth and began to brush my teeth. I couldn’t bear to look at Johnathon as he looked into the bathroom, his eyes wide with worry. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme?” he asked, the concern in his sleepy voice instantly evident. “What’s wrong?” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon couldn’t see the smile that was forming as I brushed my teeth. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Men <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> I thought to myself. They really are oblivious. I placed my toothbrush back in the holder, then turned to face Johnathon and took a large breath. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Maybe we should go and sit down?” I said taking Johnathon’s hand. I pulled him softly back to the bedroom. Nervously I sat on the end of the bed, unable to make eye contact. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme, are you okay? Is there anything I can do?” Johnathon asked again nervously. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I smiled at him. “Johnathon, I’m fine. In fact I am more than fine.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon just stared at me waiting for answers. “Your scaring me now Esme.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Johnathon, I don’t know if there is a right way or wrong way of saying this so I’m just going to come straight out with it.” I inhaled a deep breath. “Johnathon, I’m Pregnant.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I watched nervously at his reaction – he didn’t move for sixty-five seconds. I know this because I counted, every single second. Slowly a smile crept over his lips. As it grew bigger – spreading across his face – I let out the breath I didn’t realise I had been holding. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“What? I – I mean… are you?” he choked, tears starting to well in his eyes. I took a deep breath and smiled wildly, then nodded. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme, this is wonderful!” he cried, leaping towards me and pulling me up into his arms before spinning me around the room. “But when did you…?” he asked, happy tears now flowing freely down his face as he set me gently back down on the floor. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“A few days before Charles got home,” I replied. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Why didn’t you tell me my love?” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I wanted to be sure that our plan with Charles would work, and I thought that if I told you then maybe – just maybe – you would have done something you would regret. And also, I knew you wouldn’t let me be alone with him. We needed the plan to work, so now we can finally be together.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">My love couldn’t stop grinning at me; like a child that had just been allowed to buy whatever they wanted from a candy store. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Are you really happy?” I asked. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme my darling, I have never been so happy,” he answered through a wide smile, wrapping me up in his arms once more. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Our first moment as a family. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Things have been magical since I told Johnathon about our little bundle of joy. As usual we spend as much time together as we possibly can. Everything has been perfect, but it cannot stay like this. We have to leave before it becomes too obvious that I am carrying another man’s child. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon and I still have to leave, to protect our baby. We are leaving in two days and we aren’t quite sure where we’re going, but initially we are going to stay with some family north of here before moving on and finding a place of our own. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Leaving my family and friends would be extremely painful; I would miss them all so much. But first I had to get through a small dinner at my parents house; mom didn’t want us to leave without having a farewell dinner. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Dinner went well. The evening was filled with laughter and good times, the perfect way to remember our friends and family. Johnathon and I decided to leave at about ten-thirty. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Saying goodbye to everyone was hard, the lump that had now formed in my throat was threatening to grow larger and cause me to choke. I had to hold the tears back. Nobody knew that this was a farewell party; the only people that knew were my Mom and Evie. Everyone else just thought it was a normal dinner party. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Thanks Mom,” I said, holding onto her tightly. “I really appreciate it.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I didn’t even realise I was crying until we were almost home, the usually short two minute walk seemed to take forever. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme love, don’t cry,” Johnathon soothed, wiping the flowing tears from my face. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I’m sorry. This is all my fault. If I had just done the right thing and stayed with Charles then none of this would be happening. We wouldn’t be leaving our families to run away and live a lie.” I choked the words out, unable to contain my guilt any longer <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Do not apologise for anything Esme. Staying with that monster was never an option. I would never have allowed it. You are my world, you both are,” he reassured, softly placing his hand on my stomach. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“But I-” I choked <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Have done nothing wrong” he finished calmly, as I fumbled with the keys to the front door. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon took the keys out of my hand and opened the front door. Silently I walked through the door and sat at the kitchen table, placing my head in my hands. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“But you’ve got to leave your family now, because of me. You’ll never see you parents again. What will your parents think? How will they take it? Losing their only son and not knowing why? Never knowing their Grandchild…” Johnathon placed a finger over my lips to silence me then pulled me into his arms. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Shhhhh my darling. You have done absolutely nothing wrong. All you did was stand up to an abusive husband and fall in love. And as for my family, <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">you <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> are my family now. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">We <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> are a family. In a few months when things have settled down and we have found a home, we can get word to them and then they can come visit.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon made everything sound easy, it truly was amazing how simple it was for him to reassure me. To soothe me. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Oh Johnathon, I love you with all my heart. You always know how to reassure me. I honestly don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I’m ready to leave now,” I told him, the tears finally ceasing to fall from my eyes. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Okay my love, whenever you’re ready. Now come on you, up to bed. You have to get plenty of rest now,” he said with a smile, wrapping his arms briefly around my waist and caressing my stomach lightly. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">We walked up stairs together holding hands. We wandered into the bedroom then changed into our pajamas and got in bed together. Laying my head on the pillow, I sighed with happiness. Out of nowhere, Johnathon pushed all the bed covers off of us, lifted up my nightgown and started talking to my stomach. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Hello? Can you hear me baby? I’m your Daddy. I promise to look after you and your Mommy, always. I love you both so much and I cannot wait to meet you.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">After he’d said what he wanted, he pulled the covers back up and pulled me into him. Not a word was mentioned about what he’d just done. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I love you too, Esme. Sleep well.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I love you too Johnathon.” I snuggled into his shoulder then drifted off into a peaceful sleep. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 18pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">♦♦♦ <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“ESME! Esme, wake up dammit!” Johnathon was screaming at me. I eventually woke to find the room filled with smoke, flames licking the bedroom door. A few seconds passed before my brain registered what was happening. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I started coughing and screaming at the same time. “Johnathon? What are we going to do?” I cried at him, desperately searching for an exit route. Hours seemed to pass, smoke was rapidly filling the room now, there was no way we could go through the door. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme? Johnathon?” Someone called. Johnathon ran to the window and looked outside. We were both coughing uncontrollably now, the smoke was so intense. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“We’re going to die,” I cried. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“NO! No we’re not!” Johnathon shouted at me, clearly as scared as I was. “We’re up here!” he shouted to whoever was outside. “We can’t get out. The flames are outside our door!” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I ran to the window, trying desperately but unsuccessfully to get some fresh air into my lungs. I could see my parents, Johnathon’s Parents and some neighbours outside. One of the neighbours ran off back to their house. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“We’re going to get a sheet, then you will have to jump!” Someone screamed from outside. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Jump? <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Are they crazy? <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I’m not jumping out of a window. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon must have read my mind. “Esme, you’re going to have to jump. Think of our baby. If you don’t jump, we’ll die.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">He had a point. I had to think of our baby. We had to survive this so that we could be a family. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Okay, we have the sheet ready!” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme, my love, you have got to Jump. Please, I am begging you, for me, for our baby. JUMP!” Johnathon pleaded with me. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Nerves were coursing through my veins as I climbed onto the window ledge. I couldn’t breathe; the smoke was filling my lungs causing me to choke. I was so scared. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Johnathon, I love you so much. PROMISE me you will jump as soon as I’m clear” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I promise my love. You’re not getting rid of me that easily” He said with a half-smile. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I pulled him into me kissing him with as much passion as I could muster. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon pulled away and half pushed me out the window. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I screamed as I fell, seconds seemed to turn into minutes. I’m going to die, I’m going to die. I closed my eyes and waited for death to take me. Then I hit something soft, the sheet. It broke my landing, I still landed with a thud but I was alive. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Someone pulled me off the sheet and pulled me into an embrace. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme, my darling, it’s OK, you’re OK now.” It’s was my mother. She was crying. She wrapped another sheet around me and ran back to the sheet they had used to catch me, ready to catch Johnathon. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I looked up at our window and saw Johnathon smiling down at me. He mouthed <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I love you <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;"> to me. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“JOHNATHON GET OUT, NOW!” I screamed at him. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“I’VE JUST GOT TO GET SOMETHING!” he shouted down at me, turning his back to the window and running back into the bedroom. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“JOHNATHON!” I screamed at the top of my voice, tears flowing freely down my cheeks again. “JOHNATHON!” I screamed again. “NOOOO!” I got up and started to run towards to the house then I stopped, I was being pulled back by someone. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Johnathon reappeared at the window as quickly as he had disappeared. He was coughing hard. He reached out putting his hands on the window sill. He was holding something in his hand. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“JUMP JOHNATHON” I screamed at him. As I screamed at him to jump there was a loud bang and Johnathon disappeared from sight. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“NOOOOOO!” I screamed again, causing myself to cough. I got up and tried running towards the house only to be held back again. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HIM!” I screamed my eyes searching the fireball that was my home for any sign that Johnathon had found a way out. I begged Johnathon’s Father and my Father to go and help him. They tried, they tried to get in, through anyway they could, but they were being pushed back by the flames that had now engulfed the whole house. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Another bang engulfed the area echoing all around us and then the unthinkable happened. The whole of the upper floor collapsed to the ground. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">The arms were still holding me back. I screamed at the top of my voice, kicking and thrashing about, trying to break free of the grip around me so that I could try and get to Johnathon, my wonderful Johnathon. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Then I blacked out, or so my Mother told me. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I woke up at my parents’ house in my old bedroom. My throat felt like someone had attacked it with sand paper. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Mom?” I called out, my voice barely there. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">I could hear mom rushing into the room. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme, darling, are you okay?” Mom asked, her voice smothered in concern. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Mom, I’m fine. Where’s Johnathon?” I asked, trying to get off the bed. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Esme, lay back down, you need to think of your baby. Now come on get some rest.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Mom?” I asked, wondering why she wouldn’t tell me where Johnathon was. I had to believe he made it out, how could he not have? <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">“Where’s Johnathon?” I asked again. <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Mom took a deep breathe, held my hand and said very quietly, “He didn’t make it, Esme. I am so sorry.” <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">Esme

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">If you want to read more Of these just go to this address below and just click on diary

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt 80px; line-height: normal; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">http://www.bellasdiary.com/

<p style="line-height: normal; margin-top: 0cm; margin-right: 0cm; margin-bottom: 10pt; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto;"> <span lang="EN" style="color: white; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-themecolor: background1; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-AU;">This is a just one of them, I really do I hope you like it.

<p style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">