Talk:Quil Ateara V and Claire Young/@comment-24.59.68.93-20140521030029/@comment-24927180-20140702042836

Just one time is all it takes. Domestic violence is anytime, first or tenth,  that you harm someone you are in a intimate realtionship,  physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally, it doesn't matter, anytime. First or not. It's not a string of violence, it's the first time you hurt the other person.

So, I guess what Sam did was more like battery as he wasn't in an intimate realtionship with Emily yet, but he still physically harmed her. Intent or not. It doesn't change that it's a crime, it doens't change that he's scarred her heavily for the rest of her life, and it was too easily forgiven in the books. It's not something that should have been solved because Sam loves her, because he didn't mean it, it still happened. That's not something you forgive in a month, in two months, in a year, that's years of distrust, of rebuilding what was lost when you hurt that person.

I'm more upset than anything that in the books it was so easily forgotten.

I would suggest maybe reading up on some domestic violence stuff because it really is something that people need to be educated about. Not only to help you, but because knowing about it can help you to help others that end up in that situatuion.

Many people in a domestic violence situation don't view domestic violence as domestic violence. They think they deserved it. They think it was their fault. They did the wrong thing. They said the wrong thing. It's way so many men/women stay in that situation, and why so many die in that situatuon because they blame themselves.

So, Emily not seeing it that way would be a classic domestic violence view point.

It can start as an accident, but it can esclate to everyday you hurt this person that you 'love.'

It didn't in Sam and Emily's case, and I do think Sam truly loves Emily, but it was brushed away too easily in the books. That's not something that should have been 'okay' because Sam didn't mean it.

'If an injury is accidental, there should be a reasonable explanation of how it happened. '

Sam has no reasonable explanation for what he did. Emily shouldn't have said what she did, but it didn't give Sam an excuse to harm her. We all hear things we don't like everyday, that doesn't mean we attack the person that said it. It happens much too often, but it shouldn't. It shouldn't be seen as not bad because he didn't mean it, it's still bad.

Abuse comes with intent, but physically attacking someone is battery, sometimes assualt, it depends. I should not have used the word abuse.Sam didn't abuse Emily. That's not what I meant, I got my words mixed up, I meant to put it's violence, but he did attack her. He harmed her person with unlawful contact.

I'm sorry that I'm probably coming off super bitchy about this, but this is something that truly get's under my skin, and it hurts me how easy the seriousness of this can be ignored.