User blog comment:Friezafollwer/Twilight: The Story Continues Intro/@comment-4721925-20130203092206

The Correct version:
In the quiet city of Forks Washington, there lives a family. In this family, they don't eat or drink normal food or go into direct sunlight. They live in a glass house out in the forest on a mountain far from the people of the city. This is a family of vampires named the Cullens. The newest member of there family is named Bella Cullen who married there son Edward Cullen. The rest of the family is Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme and Renesme Cullen who is a hybrid and biological daughter of Bella and Edward. More toward the city there is two packs of wolfs. In one pack is Jacob Black, Seth and Leah Clearwater. In the second pack there is Sam Uley, Paul Lahote, Jared Cameron, Embry Call, Quil Ateara V, Brady Fuller and Collin Littlesea. They have lived in peace for many years since the Volturi tried to kill them all on that fateful winter day but something was about to happen that would shake there knowledge of the entire world that they have known. A forbidden child has been born and someone will be in mortal danger.

Incorrect version:
In the quiet city of Forks Washington, there lives a family. In this family, they don't eat or drink normal food or go into direct sunlight. They live in a glass house out in the forest on a moutain far from the people of the city. This is a family of vampires named the Cullens. The newest member of there family is named Bella Cullen who married there son Edward Cullen. The rest of the family is Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Charlisle, Esme and Renesmae Cullen. More toward the city there is two packs of wolfs. In one pack is Jacob Black, Sam and Leah Clearwater. In the second pack there is Sam Uley, Paul Lahote, Jared Cameron, Embry Call, Quil Ateara V, Brady Fuller and Collin Littlesea. They have lived in peace for many years since the Voltri tried to kill them all on that fateful winter day but something was about to happen that would shake there knowledge of the entire world that they have known. A forbidden child has been born and someone will be in mortal danger.

My point of view
Can you see the difference? I can there were serveral spelling mistakes and characters in the wrong places and hardly any descripters of intruducing the characters, this might be your draft but this is not the proper one. Sorry for my being so teacherish to your work it is just that I am a little OCD when it comes to spelling mistakes and grammer issues.