User blog:Alexa dreamer20/OUCH-It just hit me in the face

Well, I have just realized something very important. I like shiny badges a little too much. So much, I have failed to realize WHY I joined this Wiki in the first place. It was to help improve it, because I thought I knew so much about Twilight, and it depends, I won't lie, I don't know everything about it. Until today, the goal kinda lost itself...it started alternating between winning a badge and points and actually improving the wiki. Sure,you get a little discouraged when you see the number of edits some have, even if I keep reminding myself I haven't been around here for as long as they have, but it shouldn't matter. Right now, some edits I've done are like a fresh slap to the face.(dunno about it,but LuckyTimothy may know).So even if not one soul will read this blogpost, it's important to me(call me crazy,don't care.)I wanna apologize for actually going against my initial goal, which was improving, not getting an advantage.Which I realize..is virtual.Like,you're not getting anything out of it.Maybe what I was looking for was respect from those with thousands of edits.Gotta work for that I guess...