User blog comment:Puddinginthesky/Opinions?/@comment-80.189.152.242-20110430122320

I suppose it matters what your preference is. Some people love heavily descriptive language (Lord of the Flies was my first meeting with such a text, and at times I found it a bit blegh, like get on with it Goulding. I don't care about the island that much to know every single leaf colour on each individual tree or what colour the damn rock is like but you get better at reading it). Others despise it (those who are for heavy lang. say that those who dislike it are too simple-minded; not true). In your first little experimental paragraph "Blood splatter covered the previously white and pristine snow. Muddy ruts had been dug into the ground by the force of boots, digging heel first into the ground as they tried valiantly to hold their ground." seems pretty neat. The first sentence of that little part is little gory but contrasts well with something that holds an image of being pure (and you intelligently wrote 'pristine' - nice choice), and the way you write about the boots is excellent. It just adds a little to the imagining of the scene. Your last sentence, from "The energy of the battle..." to the end is brilliant, really. Well put, with interesting words and you have managed to avoid the sense that you've simply searched through the thesaurus for synonyms (always a thing to avoid at all costs – it is a horrible thing to read. Clever language is lovely of course, but complicated words do not an intelligent piece of writing make) The second experimental paragraph as already stated by others, is a lot vaguer. Considering the subject matter, this makes sense. Your use short two or three word sentences emphasises the questioning of the piece and works fittingly. Put it this way, people who love heavy descriptive text that has the tendency to drag a little (though you were just on the line I think; nearly dragging, but not enough to think ‘Bah! Move on!’) will have no problem with this. Those who do not, obviously will not like this either (though you may be surprised – through my writing I managed to convert someone who had in the early stages completely ripped my work apart for being too overdrawn into a full blown fan). However if this is a prologue perhaps, as you say, I suppose in the end it depends if you write the entire story (novel, book, text – whatever you choose to use it as) in this style or not. If only the prologue is written like this, it may seem odd compared to the rest of the writing. If the rest of the story is written as such, take care. An entire story written as such – somewhere along the middle it is likely to start to draaaaaaag on. Try not to lose your focus. And though that may have been a boring read, I hope it was somewhat useful and wish you luck in whatever you intend to create with this writing or anything else you hope to pursue instead. Signed, a fellow (and rather obsessive) writer.