Talk:Bella Swan/@comment-68.1.139.30-20120530181322/@comment-69.126.50.164-20120601010542

I admire your creativity hun, but I would like to make a few points.

"Witchy Vamps" did not exist in the twilight world (or since its a fan fiction they can, but if you wanted something closer to the book then witches are a no no)

She can't be any type of vamp and have parents, unless the whole family is full of vamps because if she WAS and lived with her parents, how can they not know about her powers?

Almost every single fan fic I see has a main character thats punk/goth in appearence or has a troubled past or home life. The concept is a bit over used and a bit of a downer. I know you want to make her a stong character that people can relate to, but that doesn't mean it has to be negative.

I see Raven has a bunch of hobbies and activities. Where does she have the time for all of them? I would stick to one or two main hobbies and play off of that, otherwise it will be hard to keep track. Also, how can she afford a sports car AND a motorcycle when apparently her rich doctor dad doesn't care for her much?

And finally, Don't make her steal Emmett away from Rosalie. Rose may not be the most popular character in the series, but making Raven a man stealer wont make her much better.

So those are my points. I hope your fan fic goes well.