User blog comment:LunaBella/who has boyfriend problems!? (guys can answer too)/@comment-1884241-20100220105003

I used to do this when I was younger.

As a result of my immaturity/insecurity/arrogance, I was unwilling (or possibly unable?) to admit when I was wrong. My defense mechanism was to use "logic" to twist things around so that the other party (often my gf) was wrong, or had at least caused the problem through their (her) actions. This is sometimes called deflecting or projecting. (regardless of whether or not those are actually the correct terms) In time, I was able to see how regrettably foolish I'd been for acting this way - and how I had, in the past, personally caused the demise of some otherwise promising relationships. (This is probably one of the most difficult things for a guy to learn/accept/overcome) This was a sad, and very painful epiphany to have, but life is a learning process, and everything we learn or experience makes us who we are. These days, it's still no fun being wrong - everyone can agree with that - but I've learned the benefits of swallowing my pride. It's amazing to see the wonderful effect you can have on someone (and your relationship) simply by admitting you were wrong, apologizing, and being able to move on. Especially in contrast to the the poisoning effect the above reaction can have.

Sorry - I sort of went off on a tangent...

Anyway...

Considering the fact that I know very, very little about either your bf, or the situation... and considering that I don't claim to be an expert on relationships... I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to advise you on what to do. That being said, I would venture that there is almost definitely an underlying issue here. Whether he is stressed out over something else in his life that you may or may not know about, or whether it's as simple (or rather, as complicated) as what I was talking about above. If you have not sat him down (or tried to) and talked to him about this matter, I think it would be healthy to do so. Communication is probably the best tool for keeping a relationship on track. If he is unwilling to at least talk about it, then there's not a whole lot you can really do - other than decide how long you want to put up with this kind of behavior.

Hope at least some of this was helpful in some way.

-TLG

P.S.- blah blah blah......