User blog:Crescent moon/Twilight Characters watching Eclipse

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Special thanks to my Beta Puddinginthesky :) for giving me some information

Thank you also to my friends here at the wiki

And here it is my Twilight characters watching Eclipse

the words inside {} are just my thoughts

the last thing ENJOY:)

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 * The cullens and jacob sit in a dark room*

Bella(Curious): What are we watching again?

Carlisle(happy): we're watching a movie called eclipse!

Esme(being a mother): Now behave little children it's rude to be noisy when watching a movie.

Bella(Curious) Where's Jacob?

Rosalie: Oh you mean the mutt? I posted a sign "no dogs allowed" outside the door.

Jacob(angry): for the last time I'M NOT YOUR PET! FILTHY BLOOD SUCKERS!

Emmett: Could we start this movie already i'm getting bored.


 * Jasper pushes the play button*


 * scene shows riley*

emmett(suprised): hey this guy looks like my classmate 30 years ago!

esme: i'm sure this is just the descendant of your classmate emmett..

carlisle: unless he was transformed into one of us.


 * scene shows Riley running for his life*

Rosalie(laughing): He looks funny when he's scared.It reminds me of Royce

Emmett(jealous): ....If you left him alive i would have played soccer with his head!


 * scene shows Riley crying out of pain . He's on the floor*

Bella(curious): Why is Riley doing the robot dance on the floor?

Jacob: No he wasn't dancing the robot, he was scracthing his back on the floor because it was itchy.


 * everyone looks at Jacob*

Edward(curious): How do you know that pup?

Jacob(insulting edward): my dog instincts told me. leech.


 * Scene shows the tittle eclipse*

Jacob(bored): Bored NOW!


 * jacob steals remote and presses skip*


 * scene shows Edward saying "doesn't he have a shirt?"*

Edward(insulting): Yeah your poor you can't even own a shirt!!! POOR!!!!

Jacob(showing off): Hey at least i get more fans than you by showing my abs!!!

Rosalie(irritated): Shut up Fido!!! I can't hear the movie! Bella's mummbling too much..it's irritating plus there are no subtittles in this movie.


 * scene shows Bella puching Jacob's face*

Jasper(sarcastic): Irresponsible move Bella.

Carlisle(interested): Impressive FACE PUNCH(bella hits jake on the face) counters with BREAK HAND(bella breaks her hand for hitting Jacob)

Emmett : Dog..your hard!!

Jacob: Yeah i'm hard that is why people call me the DOG of steel...abs.

Emmett(curious): You mean the man of steel retired and hired a dog to take his place? Superman retired and got replaced by this MUTT?!?

Jacob: Hey he aged now he's already a retired newspaper agent and a retired superhero. He told me i can take his place.

Edward(suggesting): If you want to be a super DOG i suggest you run in the cities with a pillow case cape and your underwear.

Jacob(curious and insulting): Why didn't you say with a "costume" just an underwear? DISCO BALL!!!

Rosalie(insulting): Because you can't afford a costume if you can't even own a shirt! Super stupid DOG!!!


 * emmett steals remote and presses skip*

(scene shows Bella putting blood on trees)

Jasper(resisting very hard): It's tempting me again. Help me Alice!!!

Carlisle: Jasper it's just ketchup.

Alice: It's just ketchup Jazz.

Jacob(shocked): Bella first your about to commit suicide by jumping off a cliff now your vandalising trees!?!

Bella(begging): Please don't tell my dad i can get arrested.

Jacob(Happy): I'm gonna tell Charlie! {Charlie will ground Bella again like on New Moon }

Bella: Fine tell my dad i vandalised trees and i'll tell Billy you and your friends broke his flat screen tv and still haven't paid for it! {the flat screen t.v. came from my other fanfic "Wolf Pack watching new moon"}

Alice: Jacob you know what, that flat screen t.v. Billy brought is 2nd hand.

Jacob(curious): How the heck do you know that psychic!?!

Alice(explaining): Edward broke a t.v. last week and we put it on the dumpster. I had a vision of Billy ordering Seth and Leah to carry that flat screen t.v. at the dumpster to your home.

Jacob(curious): Why the heck is my dad going to a dumpster to find a 2nd hand t.v.?

Esme: It's because your dad is out of money. Don't you know your tuition fee for high school he used it to buy new clothes that you can wear when whenever you turn wolf and destroy them.


 * jacob presses skip*

(scene shows Jacob saying "I'm hotter than you")

Edward: Fine your hotter than me ! BUt i'm cooler than you!

Jacob(insulting): Prove it if you can HAIRGEL BOY!!!

Edward: I'm so cool that icecubes are jealous of me getting more fans than them.


 * jacob presses skip*


 * Scene shows Edward and Seth fighting Victoria and Riley*

Alice(curious): Edward how much hairgel do you use?

Edward: It's cement actually. I thought you already seen that in your vision Alice.

Bella(shocked and curious): Why the heck would you use cement as a hairgel?

Carlisle(explaining): We have a hard time rebonding our hair because our hair is made out of cement too.

Jacob: You mean your really walking-bloodsucking statues!

Rosalie : I prefer the term manikin instead of statue! MUTT!!!

(scene shows Cullens burning the newborns)

Carlisle : We gone too far.. {he's talking about the newborn massacre}

Bella(curious): What?

Emmett*faces Bella*: He said we went to far.

Emmett*faces Carlisle with curiousity* : Why did we go to far?

Jasper: Because when we burned them down we gathered around the fire and sang Spongebob's campfire song.

Jacob(shouts): Skip!


 * scene shows credits*

edward(relieved): Finally the movie's finished. I'm going to the gas station!

Emmett(pissed and angry): GAS STATION !?!

(Everyone is curious and thinking why is Emmett angry)

Edward(curious): What's with the attitude?

Emmett(harsh voice): I HATE that place!

Bella(curious): What could you possibly hate in a gas station?

Emmett(looks grudgingly and Edward): It's when Edward didn't buy me a RESSE'S PEANUT BUTTERCUP!

Edward: You're still on to that? Emmett it was just chocolate.

Emmett(still grudging) : Yes I'm still on to that. I remember the date it was December 25, 1971 when you didn't buy me one!

{If you read the eclipse novel page 432 Alice says Edward is a groutch, well this blog proves it}

Edward(making an excuse) : Besides we didn't have the dollars for it. And even if we have the dollars for it.

Edward(thinking of his Volvo): We have much more things to spend it on than just OVER PRICED CANDY!

(EVERYONE THINKING EDWARD IS A GROUTCH EXCEPT EDWARD HIMSELF)

Emmett(still angry) : it wasn't just candy...it was a RESSE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP!!!

Edward(apologetic): Ok sorry. If we find another store i will get you one...ok?

Emmett(STUBBORN): NO!

Edward: now your just being stubborn.

Emmett(explaining): Since you didn't get me one on that Christmas day. I had to get what i want myself. i destroyed the surveillance cameras, killed 4 humans{probably 1 security guard,1 cashier and 2 UNLUCKY gasoline mart buyers} just to get a pack of RESSE'S PEANUT BUTTERCUP!

(everyone shocked except for emmett)

THE END

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LESSON OF THE STORY

NEVER BE A GROUTCH TO EMMETT OR ELSE HE'LL KILL INNOCENT PEOPLE AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT IF YOU DIDN'T GIVE HIM WHAT HE WANTS!!! Plus he's more angry if you don't give him what he wants on a Christmas day.