User blog comment:GreatPerhaps/Still Lurking/@comment-3984470-20121112011530

Hey, I remember you. You're cool.

I have to say that I've come out of this fandom as not a better person, and not a worse person, but a different person. A stronger person. No other fandom has made me so angry, or so delighted and grateful. With Twilight, I've become such a different person than how I started. Back then, I thought I was amazing. I thought I was fabulous. I'm more in touch with myself now. I've become more in touch with the person I was, the person I am, and person who I want to become. Not only has Twilight itself helped me with this, but this Wiki, too. This Wiki is like my home. It keeps me together when Twitter or (gasp!) real life break me down. I've met people here on this Wiki that I can easily see myself still friends with in ten years. And those people have most certainly introduced me into so many different things and made me see things in different ways. The Twilight Saga (and things that came with it) has made me a better reader, a writer, a student, and a person in general. Five years ago, I couldn't have said, "I think I know who I want to become, and I believe I can become that person." Twilight has opened my eyes to so many things. Five years ago, I could have said (and I probably already said), "Oh yeah, I can do all that. I'll make it work. It'll happen overnight." I didn't think about consequences back then. Twilight has made me become in touch with reality, but at the same time, it exposed me to a fantasy like no other. Twilight is the ultimate guilty pleasure. It helps me get away from all the crap of the real world. Most importantly, though, I learned from Twilight that doing things for the thrill of the rush is okay. It is. The haters can say what they want, but Twilight has triggered my impulsivity. I'm more like Bella now than I thought I would ever become. I'm not just like her, thank God, but I somewhat share a mentality with her that is both good and bad. It's okay to be wild, though. It's okay to go with your heart - just not all the time, lol. I'm too guarded for that. And over these years, I've matured so much. Dude... The Twilight Saga is my teenage years in a nutshell, and I'm not even done with them yet! I haven't even been anywhere in life yet. I'm a baby, in a sense. But I can say that thanks to Twilight, I stand for so many different things and I have a better sense of who I am and the person I want to become. I've been at war with myself thousands of times. Half the time I hate myself. But at least I know how to bounce back and just go with it. If Bella can bounce back from all this crap thrown at her, then why can't I?

As a fan, I think I've come out fairly different than I started. When I first became a Twihard, I was so into Edward. God, I loved him. I also hated Robert Pattinson and hated Kristen Stewart back then. Over the years I've gone from Team Jacob to Team Jakeward to Team Kill Bella to Team Taycob to Team Kristen to Team Screw This, I Love The Hunger Games to Team Kristen again to Team Kristen's Such A Cheater, Kill The Thing With Fire to Team Rob to Team Taybert and everything else. But now, as much I am very Team Taycob, I'm gonna say I am Team Twilight. That's where we all started, anyway. :)

Oh God, I wrote a novel. :o